“You should have blogged about London Fashion Week the day you got back.” That’s the thought that’s been bothering me for the last week and a half.

And it’s a valid one, to a point. I mean, it would have been more current, my thoughts would have been fresher, than they will be when I finally get to it (probably next week, fashion fans).

But I’ve been busy. Really busy. That first day back I was up at stupid o’clock to get the train from Paddington to Cardiff and write up everything I needed to do for the paper, and didn’t get home until gone 9pm.

Since then it’s been non stop – dinners with old friends and trips to the theatre and even a minibreak to Austria to see the family at my one and only cousin’s wedding.

What with all of that and no small amount of work to do too, fitting in what is essentially a hobby, hasn’t been easy. But I still feel bad.

I don’t know why I beat myself up about these things though. After all, I have a strict “no shoulds” policy in my life.

I’ve thought long and hard about this, and the conclusion I have come to is that there are only two reasons why anyone should do something: because they want to, or because it will help another person.

As a Christian, I would add “because God said so” but even in this there is an element of choice – I choose to follow and obey God because I want to, because I love him and I want to go to heaven and live with him for eternity. That’s called free will.

So, my philosophy remains in tact: the only reasons for doing anything are because you want to, or because it will benefit someone else.

Sometimes you have to dig a little deeper. For example, say we’re talking about the gym. Now you may not want to go to the gym, but you do want to be toned and slim, and the gym is a means to getting that. So, indirectly, you go because you want to. Not because you should.

I personally don’t care about being toned, and therefore I don’t exercise. Why should I?

Well, you may say, being obese puts pressure on the NHS, so you owe it to your fellow man to be healthy and go to the gym.

Which is where part two comes in: doing things for the benefit of others. (I feel the need to point out here that I am not obese, and that should I ever find my lack of exercise becomes a burden on society I will immediately get my sweats on).

So many of us are weighed down by the concept of “should”, and live under a permanent cloud of guilt, or a sense of being inadequate.

“I should read better books.”

“I should understand foreign politics.”

“I should stop watching so much TV.”

These may all be very valid suggestions, but ask yourself this: will it help anyone? And if not, do I really want to do it?

If the answer is no to both of these, you have my permission to dismiss the nagging voice of “should”, and get on with enjoying life; doing the things that make you and others happy.

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